DAY FIVE JUICE FAST

Hello, friends! Guess what--I'm here on Day Five chugging along, still no problems.
By no problems, I mean: no diarrhea, no starvation, no shakes, no feeling faint, no angry husband or children saying what-the-heck.

Of course, there are the mental nudges, which I'm going to out as Messengers of Satan--those creepy little demonic THOUGHTS that intrude upon an otherwise happy day and go, "You are such a failure--maybe you're on Day Five, but you are not EVEN going to succeed," whereat I shout, "HA!" because you and I both know that I have made no promises, nor have I even subliminally formed any aspirations about how long this particular eating (or rather, non-eating) activity is going to last. To be clear, I can't fail because I have already succeeded.

NOT ONLY THAT, but people, come on--why do we always judge ourselves every time we try to do something? Why must we evaluate everything we put our hands to? Why do we continually assess and analyze and scrutinize, instead of just doing something? So, down with all that judging.

This mental nudge I'm calling "fear of inevitable failure because I've always failed before" can be debilitating no matter what your battle. The thought-that-turns-into-fear that poses this idea, "You know there's going to be fresh bread at Mom's, and you know you won't be able to turn that down--and you shouldn't turn it down, so--ha--you are going to fail then, so you might as well give up now!" This would be akin to telling some man who struggles against lust for other women than his wife, "Well, buster, you know when you go to the beach this summer, there are going to be some hot babes there and you are just simply going to utterly and wholly and delightedly fail not to lust after them, so what the hey, turn on the porn now!" It's the same thing. It is exactly the same thing.

Down with all that.

Today's weight 216.4. Yes, I felt that way too. HIGHER than yesterday, what is up with that? Well, consider this. Two-tenths of a pound is 3.2 ounces, less than half a cup of water. I have no explanation for this gigantic, self-esteem destroying GAIN. We'll just see what it says tomorrow, how 'bout that instead of saying, "What the--! If I can't lose weight by doing a juice fast, what is the point of even trying?"

Dear Self: there is a point in trying. There is value in effort. There is a positive good in being kind to your body, in being affirming to your spirit. Do another day, why not?

Here's a little blessing: Number One Son (age 13) has declared himself to be the World's Greatest Juice Maker and is now in charge of Mom's Juices. I call out the ingredients, he gathers and rinses them and then does his magic. His spinach, cucumber, kale, and apple number from today was yummy.

Food craving today--grilled salmon. It's strange that all my food thoughts have been of meat--I don't eat meat, haven't in a long time. Maybe I need more protein. Let's stuff some broccoli down the jaws of that juicer, shall we?